The Internet is for Porn Ouran Style
by luckygirl88
Summary: The wonderful song by Avenue Q has now been turned into an Ouran One Shot! Read to find out how our little Miss Haruhi deals with dreadful song as she tries to teaches about the modern day internet. One Shot


_**Luckygirl88 and Ouran High School Host Club **_

_**Presents**_

"_**Internet is for Porn"**_

_Introduction: Today Miss Haruhi Fujioka is teaching a group of students in her class about how marvelous the internet is. Not like her class doesn't know what the internet is, but she thought she'd teach the class about how wonderful it is that we have it. Besides, it was her English essay she had to do and her teacher wants them to present it out loud in class. However; a certain little pervert hides in class, sitting there. What will happen? Read on to see._

Haruhi stood in front of the class and looked at the wondering eyes. For this moment, she even had a projector showing how wonderful today's technology is due to the internet being around. She sighed and kept staring. The teacher singled for her to start. She looked down at her paper and thought quietly to herself.

"_Do I really have to do this? Besides, it's not important. Why did I even choose this topic? Oh wait, I remember now,"_

Suddenly Haruhi goes into a sudden flash back. She is now in the Third Music Room as a flamboyant Tamaki is yelling at her. Kyouya, Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori and Hunny just stand there on the side line with confused, puzzled faces.

"HARUHI!!!!! YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TOPIC!!!! IT'S THE BEST TOPIC EVER!!!!" Said an overly excited Tamaki.

"Senpai, listen to me. There are better topics to write about then the internet. Like for example, I could write a topic about how our economy is and why people are forced to live on the streets and…"

Suddenly they fell asleep at the long and boring, unentertaining speech. Haruhi sighed and smacked them all.

"Listen, if it kills me I'll write about it, but only I'll write and explain it. Got it senpai!?"

Tamaki nodded and hugged her little daughter.

Haruhi looked back at her class mats and sighed again. She started the power point and with a happy and over excited voice, started to explain her topic.

"Finally! I get to teach a lesson all by myself. Some thing modern. The internet! The internet is really really great,"

"For porn" Tamaki exclaimed loudly.

Haruhi didn't notice, but the twins who were in the room turned. They shook their heads.

"This isn't going to go well," Hikaru said over to Kaoru.

"You think?" Kaoru replied.

Haruhi then started back up again.

"I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait"

"For Porn" Tamaki exclaimed again.

Haruhi looked up and noticed a blonde haired man say something.

"Huh? There's always some new site,"

"For Porn!"

"I browse all day and night,"

"For Porn!"

"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light,"

"For Porn!"

This time, Haruhi got the blonde hair man. He stood up and rushed over to her side. He then gave that, charming smile at the class. He pulled out a rose and threw it to the class, then turned to Haruhi.

"She's pissed," Kaoru said.

"You think?" Hikaru replied.

"SENPAI!" Haruhi said, now red in anger.

"The internet is for porn,"

"Senpai,"

"The internet is for porn,"

"What are you doing!?" Haruhi asked furiously as the class only started to laugh, well chuckle mainly.

"Why you think the net was born? Porn porn porn" Tamaki then took the projector and showed an imagine of porn on it. Haruhi, was even more furious now then she was five seconds ago.

"SENPAI!"

"Oh, Hello Haruhi," Tamaki said sweetly, hugging his precious daughter.

"You're ruining me speech!" She said, pushing him away.

"Oh me sorry, me no mean to," He let go of her and stepped back some.

"Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?" Haruhi asked, with big brown sparkling eyes. Tamaki said and responded to her.

"Me no talkie," He sighed and stood there still.

"Good," She smiled at him and then turned to the audience once more. They finally stopped laughing due to the teacher sitting in his huge chair. "I'm glad we have this new technology," she said and continued her speech.

"For porn," Tamaki said.

Haruhi shook her head and continued.

"Which gives us untold opportunity,"

"For por-," Haruhi turned toward senpai, angry faced. "Oops, sorry," He replied and placed his hands over his mouth.

"Right from you own desktop,"

"For ---"He paused and turned his face away from Haruhi. She continued once again and faced the already laughing class.

"You can research browse and shop. Until you've had enough and your ready to stop,"

"FOR PORN!!" Tamaki shouted and stood on a desk now.

"Tamaki!" Haruhi said, trying to pull him down.

"This just got even better," Hikaru said over to Kaoru, smirking happily.

"You think we should throw in our two cents?" Kaoru asked.

"Hmm, not now. In time my brother. In time,"

"The internet is for porn!" Tamaki announced, still on the desk. The audience was cracking up at this stage now.

"Noooo,"

"The internet if for porn!"

"Tamaki,"

"Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!" He holds up a rubber horn and honks it and then laughs some.

"That's gross! You're a pervert!" Haruhi said, throwing her arms off to the side.

"Ah, sticks and stones Haruhi," Tamaki said, still honking the little horn in his head.

NO really, you're a pervert! Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet," Haruhi explained and flipped the projector to a new imagine of people doing homework on the computer,"

"Ohhhh?" Tamaki said curious and looking at Haruhi with a devilish grin.

"What?!" Haruhi said confused, titling her head.

"You have no idea! Ready normal people?!" Tamaki announced and pointed his finger to the audience.

"Ready Kaoru?" Hikaru asked him.

"I'm ready," Kaoru responded.

Suddenly the other host members walked on in. Coming up to the front of the class room was Kyouya, Hunny, Mori, Hikaru and Kaoru. Haruhi did a forehead smack. Her day was going to get much worse.

"Ready--- ready ----ready!" they all said at once.

"Let me hear it!" Tamaki shouted, up in front of the class. Suddenly every one started to join in.

"The internet is for porn!"

"Sorry Haruhi," Mori said to her.

"The internet is for porn!" The class shouted over.

"I masturbate!"

"0.0" Hunny and Haruhi were speechless.

"All these guys unzip their flies. For porn, porn, porn!" The rest of the guy hosts said happily.

"The internet is not for porn!!" Haruhi shouted over.

"PORN!, PORN, P---"

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Haruhi paused them, out of breath. She then pointed to Kyouya and had a rather unpleasant look about this. "Now I know for a fact that you, Kyouya, check your portfolio and trade stocks online,"

"That's correct," He said fixing his glasses.

"And you twins, you buy things on "

"Sure!" The both said, turned to each other and smiled happily.

"And Hunny, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay,"

"Yes I do!" He said happily, pulling out his money then Kyouya takes it and places it in his pocket, grinning happily. He cries and then Kyouya gives him cake and he is happy again.

"And Mori, you sent me that sweet online birthday card,"

"True," He said, thinking back to that day.

"Oh, but Haruhi. What you think he do . . .after? hmm?" Tamaki said grinning happily.

"Yeah…" Mori said, placing his hand on his head and rubbing it.

Haruhi was now, shocked, angry, upset and grossed out. She had to yell it out, no matter what the guys said around her. After all, they still think she is a guy.

"EEEWWWWW!"

"The internet is for porn!" they sang again and the class joined in.

"Gross!"

"The internet is for porn!"

"I hate porn!"

"Grab your dick and double click," They then grabbed that area, and then made a computer clicking hand motion. The class laughed.

"For porn, porn, porn!  
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn"

"I'm leaving!" Haruhi said and headed outside her class room door.

"Porn, porn, porn, porn  
porn, porn, porn, porn,"

"I hate the internet!" Haruhi then slammed the door as the chorus continued.

"Porn, porn, porn, porn"

"The internet is for," Tamaki shouted.

"The internet is for

The internet is for **PORN!**"

"Where'd Haruhi go?" Tamaki asked.

They all shrugged and continued to sing about porn.

_**The End**_


End file.
